Week 8 Discussion 1

Week 8 Discussion 1
Healthy Couples My definition of a healthy marriage is two people that love each other and there is communication, understanding, trust, and commitment. All couples with have disagreements, but in a healthy one, couples work through those disagreements and know how to communicate, even if they agree to disagree. There are many views and opinions of what constitutes a healthy marriage. According to Harris et al., a healthy marriage is “a stable and satisfying relationship built upon a strong friendship that is safe, secure, loving, passionate, committed, respectful, and trusting, characterized by an ability to negotiate differences and resolve conflict, with the absence of domestic violence” (2008). Based on my definition of a healthy marriage, the resource that closely relates to it is the Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT). According to Gladding (2015) BCT is “based on an exchange/negotiation model of adult intimacy and focuses on negotiating pleasing behaviors and teaching problem solving and communication skills”. It is important for couples to have that level of communication with each other and the ability to solve problems with conflict. Many of the techniques utilized in BCT were originated by Robert Liberman and Richard Stuart. Liberman’s approach to BCT has a strong focus on specific techniques; modeling, shaping, and positive reinforcement, which are based on operant conditioning. Liberman’s approach also included characteristics of social learning theory and communication theory, which assisted couples in recognizing and increasing positive interaction with each other while removing their negative interactions, and also focused on problem solving, communication building skills, and how to utilize a contingency contract to negotiate a resolution to constant issues. While Stuart focused on operant interpersonal approaches, he believed that social exchange theory was the most gratifying of alternative possibilities based on the interactions between spouses at any one time (Gladding, 2015). Although relationships differ from person to person, whether gay, lesbian, or heterosexual, all couples have issues in their relationships and regardless of the sexual orientation of the relationship, couples want to be respected, listened to, and appreciated. Based on how Liberman and Stuart viewed BCT, this form of therapy allows each spouse recognize and appreciate the expectations of the other and helps the communication process go much smoother (Gladding, 2015). The way I view functional marriages or partnerships, I believe will impact my work with couples by understanding that regardless whether the couple is gay, lesbian, or heterosexual, everyone wants a successful relationship that is built on trust, honesty, communication, and commitment. According to Patterson (2000) “many if not most lesbians and gay men express the desire for an enduring love relationship with a partner of the same gender…..when asked about their current relationship, lesbians and gay men report much satisfaction with their relationships as do heterosexual couples; the great majority describe themselves as happy”. Knowing that all couples have their issues and struggles, will help to question and find the proper approach to help them. For example, BCT is one approach that could be utilized to help build communication, or utilizing emotionally focused therapy (EFT). Gladding (2015) states that EFT “focuses on intrapsychic processes (how partners process their emotional experiences) and interpersonal processes (how partners organize their interactions into patterns and cycles)”. Either one of these approaches would benefit any couple, gay, lesbian, or heterosexual. References Gladdings, S. T. (2015). Family Therapy: History, Theory, and Practice. (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson Harris, S. M., Glenn, N. D., Rappleyea, D. L., Diaz-Loving, R., Hawkins, A. J., Daire, A. P., Osborne, C., & Huston, T. L. (2008). Twogether in Texas: Baseline report on marriage in the Lone Star State, p5. Austin, TX: Health and Human Services Commission Patterson, C. J. (2000). Family relationships of lesbians and gay men. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1052-1069. Retrieved from the Walden Library databases